What a topic for Life’s Perceptions hey? Well I guess that it is this feeling that has driven me back to this blog after neglecting it for some time.

I don’t know what has brought on this feeling, but lately I have felt like I am both being excluded from the world and that I am excluding myself. Before you go reaching for a helpline number to leave in the comments, let me explore this further…

People often talk about the ‘trifecta’ of life – usually meaning a meaningful or successful career, a beautiful and deep relationship with someone you truly love and the material goods that we have come to value so much such as a house or apartment that supports the lifestyle that is an outcome of the first two elements of this trifecta.

I think this is what my loneliness lately comes down to – seeing people around me who are building their trifecta, and realising that I have a long way before mine looks anything like the race let alone the winning triplet of life’s joys. In summary, I feel I have a job that isn’t giving me anything other than a paycheck allowing me to live, I certainly don’t have a date lined up let alone a relationship, and I’m in debt which makes the third element seem that bit further away from my grasp right now.

I’m not sure if other people see elements of life like this, however I often catch myself looking at my surrounds and wondering about what I see (part of the reason for this blog really).

This Christmas just gone I received a single ticket to see a favourite author of mine perform his version of a ‘spoken word’ tour, and this event was last night. The author is David Sedaris who would truly have to be one of the most naturally funny people I’ve seen, yet such an awkward and unnatural person at the same time. I underestimated his popularity and was surprised that the quite large venue in which he was performing was full and had people milling about around the front of the venue prior to the start of the performance.

Looking around me at these people I saw a couple of Australian ‘celebrities’ (mostly comedians themselves in one form or another), many younger people, some professionals coming straight from work, stereotypical looking literary  types rereading his book before going in. All in all a very mixed crowd. One thing struck me though – the number of young couple and friends that had turned out (after forking out a not insignificant amount of money for their tickets) to share their joint passion for humour in its most classic form, being story-telling.

This crowd of people my age milling about sharing stories and laughs made me feel very conscious of the fact that I was there waiting alone, would sit alone, would leave alone and would probably talk to nobody about my experience given that many of my friends would not appreciate the joy that can be gained from something so raw as having a man stand in the middle of a major performing arts venue with nothing more than some papers, a lectern, water and of course some sharp wit. Looking around at this scene made me think about why I was feeling this way given that I was there to enjoy a few hours of entertainment, that if anything like his book would have me almost in tears more than once.

Maybe I saw parts of myself in the people around me, or parts of them in me? Maybe it was jealousy when I saw couples arriving with that satisfying look of ‘I’m on my way to getting my trifecta’? Maybe it was inspiration to show me that I too could be part of a couple such as that sharing such a fulfilling experience with someone I truly care about?

The one thing I do know is that last night has made me ask lots of questions of myself, and the way I am seeing things around me at this point in my journey. It showed me that there are people out there who share interests with me, and who may just be up for sharing brunch in the rain whilst reading our respective books and sneaking looks over our books at each other and smile, just because we can…

No more loneliness, its time for action. Time for changing the perceptions that make me lonely and recognise that sometimes those same perceptions can trigger a change in our perception of other things in life.

Till next time,

LP

Thoughts? Comments? Criticism? Please share by leaving a comment below…

So I met with one Exec that I know quite well today, and after having a bit of a chat about something I’m working on he suggested we ‘pop in’ and see his boss. Well, when you’ve been working for a whole two years and this person you’re about to see runs several large Operations functions and is about as senior as you could imagine being, it’s a pretty daunting thing to just ‘pop in’ to see them.

Today made me realise however, that 10 minutes with such a person can solve many things and provide clarity that was not apparent prior to speaking to them.

Does this skill, intelligence, and capacity to discuss things at the drop of a hat make Executives extraordinary people that should be ‘stepped around’? Should they really be treated any differently than anyone else?

I’m not suggesting that Executives should not be shown the respect reserved for anyone who is good at what they do, however is there a better way than having a hierarchy that creates feelings of self-doubt or panic for those that have to deal with Executives?

I would encourage anyone out there to treat those people at the highest levels of our companies with respect, humility and interest rather than fear, doubt or arrogance. Not because these people are extraordinary beings, but simply because they have got where they are now by demonstrating these traits in what might be considered a role-model fashion.

Lets not think of Executives as super-human because they are not – perhaps it would be healthier to think of them as tools that can assist us in understanding the best traits in each of us that we would like to emulate.

As always, would love to hear any thoughts you might have on this topic.

LP

A pill while clubbing? A line in the cubicles? What makes this enjoyable to some and abhorrent to others?

Some people I know will do all sorts of things when out clubbing, and often think nothing of ‘ordering supplies’ before turning up to a dance party. How is it that despite much of the popular media labeling this as ‘shocking’ and putting focus on the number of arrests by police at dance parties, that sub-communities can be oblivious to the way most of society thinks just because the majority of their community would have experience with drugs?

It would be obvious to some readers that I am referring to the gay community, particularly gay men. Hiding their weekend lives from work colleagues and family are scores of gay men who are accepted for much of their life, except their drug use that is.

Gay men in Australia could certainly do with recognition of more rights, increased support from those in power in this country and greater tolerance in the wider community – but what are we doing to improve our own image?

Many of us love hedonistic parties where we can let ourselves go, but do we really want Monday morning headlines to be screaming about the number of drug busts? Surely it would be better to have them acknowledge the fact that these parties were held with the majority of the city’s residents not batting an eyelid to the fun happening around them.

Walking into the office today after buying my lunch, I heard several women talking about Police arresting over 60 people for drug use/possession. It was interesting to me that I had many friends away this weekend at such parties, most likely oblivious to the public reaction of drug taking such as theirs.

Should we all stop a little more and think about what is going on around us? What are the impacts of our behaviour as a community? Why do we create things in our life that we have to hide when we have come so far in being able to live our lives in public?

Till next time,

LP